Epiphany

This post may be more intimate than usual, but I had this epiphany that I feel like needs to be shared.  

There is an incredible difference between sex and making love.  Until recently, I was one of those women who felt a husband had a right to sex.  It was something that a wife was semi-obligated to provide.  Women like this combat SO many emotions because of that mindset.  When sex is something a woman is obligated to, and wives feel this obligation, they will treat it as such.  The obligation creates feelings of being treated like an object, of guilt if the frequency lessens, of self-loathing as a result of acting outside of one's personal desires. Sex as an obligation makes women feel similar feelings to those that frequently arise from having sex out of wedlock.  It doesn't feel right.  Sex can leave a wife feeling justified for selfishness because she has paid her due to her marriage.  Now she can ignore her husband because she did his this incredible favor.  I'm not sure if husbands feel the full effect of these emotions, but I have to believe that husbands of such wives also feel guilty because they are made to feel like they are taking advantage of the women they married.  

Making Love is almost the opposite.  Instead of being able to "take it or leave it," a wife longs for the emotions that come from the truly sacred expression of love.  Making love provides feelings of safety, of gratitude for the husband God has provided.  Until a couple has experienced love making, intimacy in all aspects of their relationship are lacking, even if they are unaware of the depth that has not been explored.  A wife who is blessed to make love to her husband looks forward to the connection she will find.  She does not worry about the physical aspects of sex but rather is eager for the emotional intimacy that will be created.  It is no wonder this intimacy is one that God created and intended for the holy bonds of marriage.  Making love provokes a desire within a wife to find fulfillment in all aspects of her marriage and provides the map to that gratification.